The Mystery of the Disappearing Client

Every real estate agent has a litany of stories about magically disappearing clients. Some clients run you around for days or months. You show them everything on the market, but they manage to find the one "by owner" listing out there and cut you out of the loop. All of a sudden, they won't call you nor will they return your phone calls.

People do weird things when money's at stake, and since real estate is such a personal decision for pretty much anybody, you get even more weirdness. The personal, the financial, important life decisions--any one of these is a big deal, but put them all together and you have a perfect breeding ground for irrationality. Granted, sometimes we realtors can make money off of this manic irrationality. But just as often, maybe even more often than not, this irrationality is at the root of us getting screwed. Which I'm sure is poetic justice to many--apparently realtors are now ranked below used cars salespeople on the list of "most hated professions."

I've learned in this business that people who will actually own up to being shits are few and far between. Most people just hope you'll forget about them, which is often kinda hard to do when you've gotten so friendly with them AND your next pay day was hinging on the deal you were putting together for them. A very small subset of clients in my time working in real estate have had the decency to call and say "Thanks for your work and all your guidance, but we're buying something else." Or "We've decided not to move now." Fine, fair enough. As annoyed and yes, hurt as I might have been, I appreciated the honesty.

Clients acting badly. Hmmmm. This is precisely why I've pushed my career more in the direction of representing the landlord and/or owner. There is enough bullshit to go around in this line of work--I'd rather know I have the listings, because quite frankly, people looking for real estate in this city are a dime a dozen. Actual inventory is the hot commodity, IMHO.

Recently I had a deal going on a retail space. The main person on the deal called me daily, often multiple times, even when specifically asked NOT to. Seriously, if I say I'll call you when there's news, please take me at my word. At any rate, it seemed the deal was going to close pending a few pieces of paperwork. Until . . .

I haven't heard from them since last week, and finally told the owner as much. The owner knows how these things go, and we both know they may well turn up yet. In the meantime, I continue to show the space, and we already have another offer in. If the first set of people lose out on it because they chose to disappear without a word as to why, then it's their loss.

The End is Nearing

Soon I'll be done with the dreader brokers' course. It's such a snooze fest, it isn't even worth writing about.

In other news, I'm working on closing a deal where one of the principals has awful credit. I'm crossing my fingers that the other involved parties' credit ratings aren't horrible, and the owner is feeling kindly on the day I present the reports to him

Note to New York State

Dear New York State,

One does not generally expect much in the way in efficiency in government. However, even by this low standard, the DOS is lacking in one very specific area. (I'm sure you're lacking in others, but I have other more pressing matter to attend to. Like conditioning my hair.)

Anyways, your department need to make it easier for potential brokers to take their licensing tests. There are not enough time slots available when I try to schedule my test via your nifty online test scheduler device. Several of my colleagues concur. Personally, I am trying for a mid-July timeslot, and have been for over a week. So far, my only option is to accept a June time slot and take the test before I have completed the class. Now tell me, how much sense does that make? Oh, wait, on second thought, nevermind. Bureacracy and logic don't have much in common, now do they?

Sincerely,

Your loyal tax payer

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Who needs sleeping pills when you have real estate school? I swear, the brokers' course has been one big snooze-fest. Today we went over the exact same crap as we did in another, different class last week. Can anyone say "waste of time"?

Luckily, none of the material seems too difficult, and I don't think the test will be overly difficult.

Brokering 101: Above the Law?

What did I learn in my initial foray into becoming a licensed real estate broker in the fine state of New York?

As one might expect, there are all sorts of laws, rules, and regulations. Many of which I have seen flauted, ignored, or craftily side-stepped in my realtively brief tenure on the job. And why not? The maximum penalty for breaking any of the laws set forth in Article 12-A of the Real Property Law is a year in jail and a $1000 fine.

Let me let that sink in. An untoward agent can bilk someone out of millions of dollars. If prosecuted under the Real Property Law, the most time that agent can spend in jail is a year, and the MOST money they will pay in fines is $1000. Unbelievable.

Truly, this explains a lot of what I've seen in the business. Getting caught is one thing. Getting in any real trouble is quite another. Here are a few things that could get a broker or agent in hot water:

* Tips to supers and doormen for help on specific deals? Illegal.

* Set times for office meetings? Illegal. (If you want people to show up, one experienced person says, serve breakfast).

* Requiring agents to work certain set hours? Illegal--all real esate agents are independent contractors, not employees.

* Using someone who is not a licensed real estate agent to show apartments? Illegal!

How many times have I seen these rules sidestepped or simply ignored? Too many to count.

I have to laugh. I remember taking the course to become a licensed salesperson and sincerely thinking the things they taught us mattered and would be used in my day-to-day working life. Talk about a huge miscalculation on my part. Out there in the real estate world, it's every agent for herself. Returning to the classroom and the idealized academic pontificating is enough to make a battle-worn agent roll her eyes.

To Broker or Not to Broker: Decision Made

Alright, after much waffling, I decided to go ahead and take the brokers' course. This will fulfill my continuing ed requirements and upgrade my license to the next level--to broker-- which could, in theory, allow me to open my own real estate firm. If there are other uses for this license, I'm sure they'll tell us about them in class. Another cool thing is that the brokers' license can be transferred to several other states, so if I eventually move away to Arkansa, Colorado, Connecticut, Georgia, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, or West Virginia, I won't have to become an outlaw who practices real estate wihout a license. Ha!

I'm starting classes tomorrow evening. I wonder if I'll run into anyone I know there. Should be interesting. I have no idea what my higher-ups think of this, as I haven't run it by them yet.

In other news, things have been incredibly slow with my commercial listings. I need to speak with the landlord and see if he'll lower the prices.

Summer in the City: Pros

Pretty soon I'll be on here complaining about how much I hate summer in the city. How depressing it is blah blah blah. For now, while the weather and my mood are both still mild, I'll go ahead and mention some of the things I like about summer in the city:

* Mister Softee. Get your minds out of the gutter! The ice cream truck, of course. I even like the jingle, which the news said was the second most complained about noise when people call into 311, the city's non-emergency information/complaint line. I love the sound and have been known to chase Mister Softee trucks through my neighborhood in search of that perfect sprinkles dipped cone.

* Flowers in the park. I must say the Parks Department does a beautiful job of maintaining Central Park and changing out the flower beds frequently to reflect the season. Tulips recently had their run, and they were gorgeous.

* SummerStage. Free concerts in the park. 'Nuff said.

* The way the City gets really quiet and you almost feel like you have it to yourself over big holiday weekends.

* Rollerblading around different places.

* This doesn't happen everywhere in Manhattan, but sometimes where I live the neighborhood residents do outdoor barbeques. It's probably illegal, but they're festive and smell delicious.

* The scent of honeysuckles and jasmine wafting in the air when you pass area parks, especially at night.

That's all I can think of for now. Oh, and getting out of the City during the summer is even more special than during other times of the year. I always feel like I've really escaped something!