Eye of The (Flu Shot) Needle? If you Can Find it!

Nowadays it’s ‘trendy’ to save money any way one can. For me, the sort of story I’m about to tell has been a way of life for years:

Talk about a flu shot scam. My work is offering it, but they’re not giving the shots until the first week of December, which is, IMHO, a little late. Especially considering that it takes about two weeks for the shot to be fully effective.

Next call? My doctor’s office. They claimed my insurance didn’t cover it. At first, I was going to just run downtown and let my doc give me the shot, for $25 cash. But then I started to get suspicious about what his staff told me about my insurance not covering the shot.

So I called the insurance company. Turns out they do indeed cover the shot. I asked them where I could get it because my reg doc had "opted" not to particpate. They seemed fluxxomed, put me on hold, then referred me to 311 to find locations for free or low cost flu shot clinics. They also told me I could go to the hospital. Uh, no thanks. I have nothing against the Health Dept or free clinics, but even my cheap ass is willing to pay a bit of money to not have to wait in a huge ass line, full of idiots and their screaming spawn, no doubt. Hey, I take the subway every day; I see those people enough as it is. And the ER seems a bit extreme of a place to go for a simple flu shot. Thanks for the offer, but I’ll not risk being traumatized by ER drama of bloodied, incoherent, ill people, or worse, getting in the way of the very people who need urgent care.

Next logical step in this illogical journey: Googling around to find some local clinics that might offer the shot for a discount. The first that local clinic on my call list acted all sketchy.

“Who is this?” they asked. “How did you get this number?” [The defensive tone struck me immediately]

“My name is ____ and I live nearby. I found this number on the Internet.”

“Well, we don’t offer those services here. You can go to the Department of Health. Call 311,” says the woman on the phone, in a very defensive and irritated tone.

“Can you please tell me if you guys still have that clinic over on Amsterdam Avenue?”

She tells me, “I can’t disclose that information.”

At this point, I got rude and hung up on her. I mean, WTF? Your number and address are listed online. So it’s not like your clinic is some big secret. I was just trying to figure out if the other clinic was still operating, so I asked you. Yet you can’t disclose whether or not a public clinic is still operating?

A friend later pointed out that I might have called a clinic serving victims of domestic violence, or AIDS, hence the suspicious tone they took with me. Umm, if that's the case, they'd do well to look into this really novel concept. It's call and UN-listed telephone number.

Frustrated, my next attempt involved about half an hour of trying to get ahold of a live human being inside one of the newish walk-up clinics inside Duane Reade. I simply wanted to ask them if they accepted insurance for their flu shots, or if they only took cash. The answer: Cash only. $30. Ok, at least I know one fast place to go as a last resort.

The matter was finally resolved by me taking a quick walk to a clinic near me that I remembered going to during my Columbia days. Back then, I got my flu shot for free. My thought: Even if it costs $$$ now, I felt fairly certain it wouldn’t cost $25 or $30.

Turns out I was right. But not before yet more runaround. The first woman I talked to at the front desk explained that the clinic, which was once run by the hospital, was now private. Yes, they did accept my insurance, she said, but in order to land a flu shot, I’d have to change my primary care physician to the doc who now practices there.

The Flu Shot Gods intervened at that point, and she was called away from her post. I asked her colleague, “Can’t I just get the shot here and pay you guys whatever you charge for it without changing my doctor and having to go through my insurance?”

This woman (finally!) was on point, and she said that for a $10 fee, I could indeed get the shot without involving my insurance or changing my primary care doc. So that’s exactly what I did.

Bring on nationalized health care. Now.