I Haven't Quit and I Saved A Friend From HELL

Rumors of my demise have been much exagerrated and aren't the least bit accurate. Truth be told, I've simply been unmotivated to face my "home office" and blog after a day dealing with the various real estate snafus and petty office bullshit. Blogging from work could get me canned. And so it goes.

My good deed for the year has been done, my friends. I saved an old college pal of mind from Broker Hell. He was kind enough to check out this blog...he was curious about the biz and perhaps wanted to see what his ol pal (me) had been up to. In fact, he'd been making plans to get his real estate license and take a stab at the commissioned life. It would give him time to pursue creative interests, a super-flexible schedule, blah blah blah (I've called bullshit on that urban myth in the past).

One afternoon sitting around reading this blog apparently cured him of all of those fanciful notions.

And I quote (with misty tears in my eyes...tears of JOY):

but listen, I started reading your blogs intensely and they made quite an impression on me. So much so that I decided NOT to become a sales agent!

Well, I'm half kidding. Well no ... about 66.6% kidding.

While your blogs did get me thinking quite a bit, I ended up not becoming an agent in favor of staying at my current job as they offered me a promotion

Way to go!!! Seriously, I'm thrilled that someone actually got something out of my pissy little rants.

Makes it easier to fall asleep at night, knowing for certain that Broker Hell has claimed one less soul.

No Sure Deals

I thought a deal on a particular vacancy was imminent. Then some associate of the owner's offers them several hundred more dollars a month. I don't blame them for taking the offer, but it sucks for me (and for the person who wanted the space, but can't afford to match the other offer). Ugh. Another payday potentially down the drain.

Property Grunt Gives His Blessing to No Vacancy NYC

Lazy slacker that I am, I just now, as in, today, getting around to posting that Property Grunt likes this blog! Really likes it!

Grunt, just so you know, some of the snarkier, nastier tales of woe are in the NoVacancyNYC archives. I encourage you and everyone else to spend some time savoring my past brilliance. Ha ha. That was meant to be ironic. As always, I am working on yet more tales of woe and misery to bring you, explained in such a way that won't get me canned.


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Dammit I can't get that link thingy to work!!

I Heard a Rumor. . .

. . .That some brokers are charging outrageous fees for rentals. Like waaaaaayyyy beyond the standard 15% of the first year's rent that's common in Manhattan. Perhaps this will taper off until next summer, now that August is behind us.

The most I've ever charged (so far) was 20%. Well, actually we negotiated it down a couple of percentage points. Keep in mind, though, that the apartment was under $800 a month AND rent-stabilized. And gut renovated. So in other words, a rare deal worth every penny to the person who took it and probably won't move out for a decade.

Those August Days

August had me swamped. I was adjusting to a new workplace, dealing with a very busy time of year, and had many to-do's, both personally and professionally.

I know I've been a bad little blogger by not posting several times a day (or even daily!) and providing tons of linkage. Hopefully I won't be so MIA from now on, and we can pick up the snarky commentary where it left off. Dunno about the links, though. Seems other blogs like Curbed and Property Grunt cover that territory pretty well. Pathetic stories of broker hell? Those, my friends, I can provide.

In other news, I'm thinking of renaming this blog "Broker Bitch." Bitch--it can be a verb, a noun, or an adjective. Gotta love a word so flexible and adaptable. Woof!

Credit Ratings are a Huge Scam

I've always known this intuitively. Now, after running my own free credit report , I have proof. The report claims I have three dings on my credit report--all several years old, and all relatively minor. As in a credit card payment that was late once and a couple of more similar items. (My first couple of years post-college were dicey). I have approximately a DOZEN accounts "in good standing."

I went ahead and paid about $8 bucks to get my FICO score. Yeah, the report itself is free, but if you want to see precisely where you fall on the bell curve, then you have to pay up. Anyways, my score was ranked "fair to poor." Uh, ok. Three small, old dings on my credit report (one of which I'm disputing because I settled it years ago), and a dozen accounts that have been kept current. I don't carry high balances on my credit cards, etc. But yet somehow, several years of keeping current on bills counts for nothing.

What a fucking scam.

I guess this is yet another system you have to be an engineer or attorney to know how to manipulate.

My empathy for people who have shakey credit (I see it all the time in this business) is renewed yet again. A couple of bad patches or a forgotten bill, and you'll be punished for years heretofore.

Real Estate Years = Dog Years?

I was speaking with someone from another company who was trying to recruit me. He asked me how long I'd been in the real estate business.
"Almost two-and-a-half years," I replied.

"Wow, that's a long time. You know in real estate, they say every year counts double."

Kind of like dog years? (I think it but don't say it, though I'm sure he would not have minded).

This is the first I've heard of such a concept. But it makes sense. You work six or seven days a week, so right there you are putting approximately 50 to 100 extra days (or half-days, at least) on the job, assuming you work 50 weeks a year. Odds are good you work 51 or even 52 weeks out of the year, but I digress.

My boss has been known to make disapproving comments at those taking off on, say, New Year's Eve. Government holidays such as MLK, President's Day, or Columbus Day? Forget having those off. That's when you're supposed to be even more available, because people are theoretically using the extra day off to look for apartments. I find people generally don't do the apartment hunt on July 4, Memorial, or Labor Days. Thank the Lord for small miracles.

Speaking of the Lord, I'm not a religious person, but I've come to appreciate the Jewish holidays, because the real estate biz really slows down during that time. Even if you aren't observing anything, it's nice to have a lull every now and then.

So yes, real estate has a way of creeping into every day of your life. People will call you when you're off, or late at night because they think it's okay. Holidays, nights, and weekends don't belong to you 100%. Ever.

Even in your off time, people want to talk shop, want real estate market predictions, etc. They seem to think I have a crystal ball and can predict the future. If that were true, do you really think I'd be doing this for a living? Now I think I sort of understand what doctors and lawyers must feel like. But at least they're paid decently.

For what I'm putting up with and considering what I'm giving up, I should be making triple what I'm currently making.