Yes, I Get it, Dammit!

Dear Boss,

Yes, I understand now that I fucked up. You have made it incredibly clear to me. For this I thank you. At least you are being direct, and not a passive aggressive shit. You're miles ahead of most people in that regard.

Where we need to work is the part where you keep reiterating what I did wrong and how disappointed you are in me.

Boss: You air your concerns and take me to task. You reprimand. You express your emotional distress.

Me: I apologize and let you know what was going on in my mind that led to the mistake/miscalculation. I emphasize that it won't happen again.

Boss: "Yes, but. . ." [Wherein you repeat everything you said the first time.]

Me: I again reiterate that I very much regret the mistake, and again reassure you that it won't happen again. At this point, I drop any attempt at explaining myself, lest it come across as defensive (which it might have already, but it's too late now).

Boss: "Well, I just want you to understand that. . ." [Wherein you, the Boss, continues repeating the grievances.]

Me: [Silence, but nodding. Inside my mind, I'm losing my patience and looking for a way out of this tedious conversation]. Using all of my willpower not to shout at you, "Yes, I GET it!!! I fucking get it!!! I screwed up, you're upset. Hell, I'm upset. Do you think I enjoy making mistakes? Do you think I relish being reprimanded? But we've repaired the damage and I can't keep groveling and reassuring you any longer. At this point, you have to leggo your ego and attempt to trust that I'll make things right and not make the same mistake again. I can't let go of it for you! For fuck's sake!!!!"

Boss: [Embarrassed at having gotten so emotional and looking for a way to look tough again]: Okay, well I'm glad we got this cleared up. Get me the Sullivan File ready by the end of the day.

Me: Of course. I'm glad we talked this over. Thank you.

Please be advised that all records of this incident will be kept in your Personal/Personnel File, Boss. You know, that file in my mind that I keep...the one that helps me decide when I'm done with you and when you must be fired/systematically removed from my life.

Sincerely,

Your Loyal Employee