I Resolve. . .

I resolve to turn over the proverbial new leaf, and that from here on out, I'll be the most perfect little worker bee possible. Or at least try. I'll drop the attitude, or do a better job of keeping it to myself. I'll practice my poker face and keep my snide comments to myself, or on this blog only. And while we're on cliches, I won't say anything at all unless it's something nice. Or something like that.

Can you tell that sometimes I really hate work and find it hard to just roll with the politics, policies, and the petty bullshit? But like most people who lack independent wealth, I need the money. Not so much so that I can "consume more," but in order to survive in the now and build towards future goals.

Trust me, my life isn't very lavish, or even very adventurous. I don't blow my money on shoes and designer clothing like a lot of young people I know. Most of my shirts cost under $20, for example. I enjoy dining out, but I mainly cook at home and rarely go to pricey restaurants when dining out. Expensive entertainment is a rare luxury in my world, which is fine by me. Books and DVDs or dinner parties with friends are more than enough to keep me happy and entertained. On the travel front, I honestly can't remember the last time I had a proper vacation or a fun road trip, not just a blessedly long weekend or a few days off to take care of personal business.

And guess what? Even those days off my employers begrudged me. They made sure to treat me to frequent phone calls and emails. One employer, upon my announcing my resignation, wanted to keep me well beyond the standard "two weeks' notice" period. And the next employer in line wanted an earlier start date. Had I not stood up for myself, I'd have had my last day at Job A on a Friday, and my first day at Job B the following Monday.

What's wrong with that, some of you might ask? A helluva lot, in my humble opinion. I am not so bound to money and routine that not having "someplace to go" every day for a couple of weeks would rock my world. It'd be a welcome relief, frankly. A person needs time off to decompress, re-organize, and sometimes to simply BE. Yes, our employers need people who can be counted on, but people with good track records should be given the benefit of the doubt. We should not have to apologize for this or explain it away.

Having a job sort of precludes having a life, it sometimes seems.

And yes, I do find myself asking, "Is that all there is to life?"

It can't be. I can't accept that. Thank goodness I at least live in a fun and interesting city.

And yet. . .the times when I had actual time to go to farflung places and do things, I didn't because, well, frankly the money was lacking. The eternal conundrum: plenty of time, but not enough money, or enough money, but no time.

Now that I make okay money but am still somewhat pressed for time due to seniority issues at work, my only hope is to really save money, and to take trips in between jobs. As for the saying, "It's easier to find a job when you have a job," well, I do believe that to some degree. But I also believe that I can do consulting in between gigs so that I on paper, I'm continuously employed.

Oh, and starting my own business isn't really an option at this point. I see most people who have their own businesses working MORE...my goal should be clear by this point. . .to work LESS but not be broke. Hell, I'd work 20 hours per week if I could get by with it and still make comparable money. Note to self: research this possibility.